I CAN'T THINK STRAIGHT

Nearly everyday, I'm opening my heart up to someone who could use a little of its shine... my family, my friends whether new or old, and I'm so tired. Bracing myself that today is the 12th of the month, I just came up to mind that I should be broken today. It's surprising that I'm on a NEW STATE OF DIFFICULTY... Today I CAN'T THINK STRAIGHT... because I'm already FORSOOK. This is another day I'm going to lose, everything I had so far was just a fantasy I have to LIVE perpetually. And tonight I will be BROKEN and dreaming my life away.  I'm a clingy drama queen to myself. Shunned the real me. It's You and you're saving me from myself...You know that I need You right now, and it will be cruel to call it quits when the going is hard for you...I can't face this, but I know I'm used to this...I pinned all my hopes on all these, and I'm so so much in PAIN. This part is so scandalous... I just have to drop it like it's HOT. The moment I spoke those words I lied that I'm gonna be OK. I would never be, the laughing were fake... and I really want to move far far away and change my name. But I just did what seems the best thing to do. I lied again. You have given me the greatest possible happiness even for a short time, but I'm only spoiling your life. I owe You all my recovery... What we had was THE MOST BEAUTIFUL feeling I had. You're BEAUTIFUL. I feel certain that I'm going CRAZY again. Until the last time I'VE SEEN THE CERTAINTY OF YOUR GOODNESS...and I can't find back at this time. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, more than You do and I'm sorry I would never be able to CHANGE MY ROLE...I can't give you what you desire...I can't love you differently on another time. The kind of love I have for You would remain forever...please please just keep my words, that's all I have... I'm keeping yours. We still don't know IF THE WHOLE UNIVERSE WOULD CONSPIRE TO BRING MAGIC ON US. I Love You.