ACE Hardware...the Helpful Place!

I have depression and it's really taking a toll on my life...It'll be like, I'm always jealous of people who can afford to buy their household stuff at ACE Hardware store. Yes it's the leading hardware store in the US and I'm not sure if it is in the Philippines since we got Handyman for closeted homosexuals. On their site they say that ACE Hardware Store has only one purpose... it is to bring the ultimate one-stop-shop for the latest solutions for home improvement. I admit that I got so many problems at home that needs a better condition. I can only afford to purchase some at the Home center from a cheaper store... but I really need some of ACE Hardware. I want it more than anyone could imagine. I'm so so desperate...
I've been suffering from severe anxiety this past days and it's getting worse. I'm unable to concentrate at all on my work.  I feel like a total failure. I don't know how else to cope with my depression. I harbor thoughts of dying although I know I'd never attempt suicide.
I've been imagining about "OWNING" a franchise of ACE Hardware Store...though I know it would just destroy the only person's trust I really care about. If I see someone carrying a plastic bag of ACE Hardware, I can't help but to worry about life...I'm taking control of my situation but I can't help it but to think about it. I know that if I keep doing what I'm doing my situation will go away... I really want something from that store... I want everything I could get there... I've only had one chance for what seemed like a lifetime when I went to the nearest ACE Hardware Store two weeks ago. I was extremely happy for a day and it's almost a miracle. I miss that day, I hope someone would bring me back there, I wish I've had enough...I want to change mind...but I won't maybe in a few days I would switch, is there something better than this helpful place? Should I look on some place elsewhere?