DUDE... Your Sh1t Stinks...

I've never been good at lying. Because even if I lie, I still tell it. I am normally way too blunt and most of the time I'm so so brutally honest. Gosh, I just want to tell the truth and nothing but the truth so help me God. I am a compassionate person and I don't like hurting someone's feelings. I have no time for sugar-coating to spare feelings. I just want people to know how they really are. I don't think it would help someone when you tell him anything other than the truth especially when they really need to hear it. I have come across a lot of people who can't handle the truth. Some were totally pissed off with me, for not hearing any positive statement from me. I don't think anyone can be considered as a "Good Friend" if they approved anything you do especially when you are headed down a dangerous road. A "Real Friend" tells the truth to your face, even  when that truth cuts you like a knife. That wouldn't mean your friends doesn't love you or support you, they just want to save you from your grave, if they know that you're already digging your own.

I only got few good friends which I considered my "Best Friends"... They are the ones who would always tell me if I am totally dead-wrong for what I am doing, sometimes I would listen to them but there were times that I'd never heed any of their warnings... and it chewed me out. I've learned my lesson the hard way. But I've moved on. My friends are still what they are to me, now that we are all facing new challenges, the friendship remains and we are still helping each other pick up the pieces of our lives. I cherish what they say, even when it's not exactly what I want to hear.

I don't want people telling me that I'm really good as is, and that everything I do is great and I'm just OK. I don't like friends like that because I don't think I can be that kind of friend too. I've always want to hear the truth, no matter how much it hurts. I may ignore it and still do my own thing like an Idiot, but at least I'll know I had someone's care enough to tell me what I NEED to hear, and not just what I WANT to hear. So I'm telling you right now that I will never be your "YES MAN"... look elsewhere if you need one. Because I'm the kind of person who got no problems telling you when YOUR SH1T STINKS!

I'm just thinking...

I feel like a lot of people claim they dont care what other people think of them but in some way I believe all people care to some extent how other perceive them. Right?

379

365 days had passed... I have come across a lot of people who can't be THE REAL THING. I didn't care enough  if I was headed down a dangerous road. I lived spontaneously. I still do my own thing like a fool...
As I closed my eyes I saw you, your flesh. It brought back all the pain, I didn't see any goodness. Everything were all mean. I packed up all my troubles in my old kit bag and smiled. I told myself that one day I would leave and will never return. I'm reminiscing everything that happened on this same day a year ago. You shed tears without even telling me what's behind it all. Then you left without any word and has never come back. I've wasted my life waiting for you to come around, but never did. My family and friends failed to be there to support me. I've searched that inner personal strength in me. Emotionally and Intellectually and I myself became the SUPPORT. I've realized that, you shouldn't have to prove anything to the people who are supposed to love you most. I know if I can no longer take care of myself they will either help out or others will or I will just die. I had enough and maybe none and I don't spend much time looking to others for help. This dysfunctional life you've left me brought me down but I've moved on easily. To your surprise. I told myself I'd give you 183 days to explain. Never a word. I waited, I've been patient, you have to give me that and condonation too. You just left and pushed me away too many, with no concern how I was gonna be. The feeling wasn't good for me. It might be fine for you. Never came to think how I felt. On the 183th day with no show of you. I began to embrace what's left without any traces of you.  I didn't think anymore that I should worry about what you think and what you feel. Should I? I'm not gonna be there when you come back to explain, Sorry. I'm living without anything to lose and I pride myself because I got everything. I just don't fit in with the general crowd in society, but I have become incredibly self-sufficent and resourceful relying on myself! No true suport I have, but ME! It may be true that TRUE LOVE IS RARE, but me as your wife, was and would be your only REAL THING... Perpetually.