379

365 days had passed... I have come across a lot of people who can't be THE REAL THING. I didn't care enough  if I was headed down a dangerous road. I lived spontaneously. I still do my own thing like a fool...
As I closed my eyes I saw you, your flesh. It brought back all the pain, I didn't see any goodness. Everything were all mean. I packed up all my troubles in my old kit bag and smiled. I told myself that one day I would leave and will never return. I'm reminiscing everything that happened on this same day a year ago. You shed tears without even telling me what's behind it all. Then you left without any word and has never come back. I've wasted my life waiting for you to come around, but never did. My family and friends failed to be there to support me. I've searched that inner personal strength in me. Emotionally and Intellectually and I myself became the SUPPORT. I've realized that, you shouldn't have to prove anything to the people who are supposed to love you most. I know if I can no longer take care of myself they will either help out or others will or I will just die. I had enough and maybe none and I don't spend much time looking to others for help. This dysfunctional life you've left me brought me down but I've moved on easily. To your surprise. I told myself I'd give you 183 days to explain. Never a word. I waited, I've been patient, you have to give me that and condonation too. You just left and pushed me away too many, with no concern how I was gonna be. The feeling wasn't good for me. It might be fine for you. Never came to think how I felt. On the 183th day with no show of you. I began to embrace what's left without any traces of you.  I didn't think anymore that I should worry about what you think and what you feel. Should I? I'm not gonna be there when you come back to explain, Sorry. I'm living without anything to lose and I pride myself because I got everything. I just don't fit in with the general crowd in society, but I have become incredibly self-sufficent and resourceful relying on myself! No true suport I have, but ME! It may be true that TRUE LOVE IS RARE, but me as your wife, was and would be your only REAL THING... Perpetually.